Embracing open adoption was a very hard concept for me, at first. As a birth mother, I want to share my experience with open adoption and hopefully encourage future expectant/birth mothers to consider this route.
My name is Amanda and my daughter, Jacquelyn Nicole, was born in January, 2017. This was an unexpected pregnancy, and most definitely came at a challenging time in my life, as I was battling addiction and struggling to find stability. Through all of those challenges, my love for my baby girl led me to make the selfless decision of choosing adoption. Today, I want to share how my decision to choose an open adoption has brought immense joy and fulfillment to all parties involved in my adoption story.
During my adoption journey, I felt a divine presence guiding me every step of the way. From the moment I considered adoption to the final decision of choosing Jacquelyn's amazing adoptive parents, Bryan and Jayne, I knew I was making the right choice. It was a difficult decision, but I trusted my instincts and put my baby's future first. We all have a beautiful connection. The relationship between Bryan, Jayne, Jacquelyn, and myself is nothing short of wonderful. I never expected it to be as special as it is today. While I still have moments of self-doubt and wish I could have been stronger for my daughter, the love I have for her compelled me to make this difficult choice. As a mother, it was incredibly challenging to set aside my emotions and prioritize my baby's future; however, when you take the time to do your research on adoption and choose the right adoptive parents, you can rest assured that your child will have the best life possible.
Maintaining a loving and healthy relationship is crucial in open adoption, and that is exactly what we have achieved. Despite the physical distance, Jacquelyn and I have a deep connection that will always remain. We regularly video chat and text, and Jayne keeps me updated with pictures of Jacquelyn's milestones. I recently had the opportunity to visit them and witness my daughter's kindergarten graduation, which was an incredibly special moment for all of us.
As Jacquelyn gets older, her curiosity about her unique situation and our connection will continue to grow. Her parents, Bryan and Jayne, are open and honest with Jacquelyn about her life story, ensuring she understands her background to the extent appropriate for her age. I have no doubt that our relationship will continue to strengthen as she matures.
The amazing choice I made, during one of the darkest periods of my life, turned out to be one of the smartest choices I have ever made. To be completely honest, making this choice actually saved me from the destructive cycle of addiction and abuse that I was living in for 16 years. Jacquelyn Nicole and her Parents give me the strength to continue fighting for my sobriety; and the ability to have such a close and open relationship with Jacquelyn is the best gift that has come from my open adoption.
Thank you for reading a shortened version of my experience with open adoption. I hope whoever I might have helped or encouraged by reading this, the best of luck. Just remember why you are considering it in the first place. You will be okay!
Oh, and one more thing, do not listen to any of the negative things some close-minded people might say regarding your choice. They just do not understand because they have never been in our shoes. Please do not let that discourage you. Adoption is one of the most selfless acts any mother or father could ever make for a child.
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